AND THE PLACE WAS MATTER
and the branches shook the lights out
and the fish to be sold had their heads intact
and the highway expanded into four lanes
and the garlic blossomed in June
and this should not trouble us
* * *
What is there left to recover?
Dandelions weaved in my black hair
Too romantic, try again
I forgot to throw out the meat and the air stinks
Better
I tired to recover the air
I waved my arms around to gather a pile
The sky buckled at my jaw
* * *
I am afraid of trees that grow into themselves
The crows kicking at the root with their talons
Overgrowth of the organs, terrible
Branches rising from my mouth as if smoke could escape from a chimney
We have these frameworks, our skeletons, to keep us from getting tangled
Whenever I see a slug, I cover it with a leaf
It wears the leaf like a roof
These houses, trailing through the woods
* * *
and the cars piled atop each other
and the hospital added a wing
and the soup congealed in the refrigerator
and the garage opened manually
* * *
Once, I saw a wave unwork itself by buying out the moon
Investment in progress, in stars
In 1988, my mother modeled a sweater in a mail order catalog
My mother, in white, is exactly what winter should look like
I wrap myself in snow, in white, in my mother, and suddenly there is only
Ocean
* * *
Two arms crossed between two tables
My heart crossed between
My eyes, out of focus
In January, I looked for winter underneath potted plants
But I found my brother instead
He had icicles for eyes
He was deep in the soil and made a home with slugs
They wrapped their bodies around his arms, over protective
This is the way ignorance works: do not look under anything
* * *
Sometimes, slugs slide against each other
And what, what then?
* * *
and the grease lined the pan evenly
and the carnations were dipped in food color
and the onion grass covered the walkway
and the starfish dried out in the sun
* * *
Circular, my life is an endless nest
I have grown tired this way, carrying twigs in my mouth
Framework of my heart, bending
Did I consume the weaker bird?
You tell me
* * *
Sitting in a cave full of gems
The head cannot focus
Light makes pyramids out of the body
Wouldn’t it be nice to shine out like this?
To put myself in whosever’s mouth and be exponential?
Light, light, little simplicity
I miss someone, but I don’t know who
* * *
and my mother smiles in front of the camera
and the meat glistens in the plastic wrap
and my brother loses his skeleton
and the place was matter and all
and all but matter
DEBTS
i.
Nothing is disturbed here
The mushrooms left to soak overnight
Have doubled
I am not ashamed to say
I ate them all
At once, my eyes shining with mold
To light my loathsome way
ii.
Was I paying attention?
The boiling potatoes barely kept the lid on
Overpour as if I could help it
This bath of spores, spoiled
In the boredom of six o’ clock
My brother plays with his loose tooth
On the news, someone shoots his brother by accident
If I could drape guilt over me
Garlands of I’m sorry for pushing you down the stairs
Head to wall to head
It’s enough to make your jaw hurt
iii.
I have fallen into a well again
This, I deserve
A caterpillar crawls onto my sleeve and stays there
This is all I have
Above, I can see
Someone setting off flares
Bright apples exploding
In the evening cool
iv.
My feelings are coming loose
I hear the stir of raccoons downstairs, all smudge faces
The raccoons sing around me, to-ing and fro-ing
Not exactly a refrain, but a clone to join
My brother has painted his face to become
Pure raccoon
v.
Consider the rooms that outlast us
Consider the water left standing in a road
The flooded rice fields
Especially the crickets floating to the neck, singing:
There is war in a country I have never heard of
There is a frontier in a country I have never heard of
vi.
Water dripped from the daffodils I pulled out
Of my brother’s mouth
To speak in the voice of the Destroyer
I held my head under water and gurgled:
I have debts to pay
Wickedness clings to me
I have no choice
But to cling back
In the late afternoon
The lake shrugs off its leaves
Please do not watch
I had to cut open the slow-poaching sun
I had to
IF NOT FOR LORCA
star in the sky—
& octopus below
— Lorca
I held my arms out
And let it wrap me
In fits and starts
I fit its monster face
Just fine
Above, the moon
Brushed out
Has fur on its face
/
Even the sea loses
Its shame in tangled
Green waves in tangled
Sheets I wake
The tulips on the sill
Are translucent in death
These soft paper
Crowns my disintegrating
Head to keep me
Here you boiled down
An octopus
The waving tentacles
Moved as if by wind
Or will
/
The monster stirs
The sea with just
One hand
In winter, my nose
Runs wildly
You run the story along
You shut the door
“To save heat”
In the warming
The deer have coagulated
I have combined
All the seasons
I cracked an egg
To seal them together
Winterspringsummerautumn
I felt the itch
Of the sea lugging
/
The stars below
I yoked them through
My eyes
At night I throw sorry forth
As if gravel
As if gravity held in limbed light
Poured forth as I have poured
Hours into you and felt
/
I multiply an insect’s eye
I slip the eye into your dinner
In order to see me how I want
How I want to be seen
There is glory in gold!
Kaleidoscope of watching me sleep
In the smallest of rooms
Each eye, each tentacle
Has a house
/
To return after such a sight
A geyser takes down a fox
I saw its tail explode
In reds, oranges
To return after light
As bones we can not tell
The difference between us and them
My monster face fits too well
Shine a comet on me
You are you and I too