Sometimes I want to make a change but the change won’t take.
Coloring my hair red with a wash it washed right out. Trying
to train the cat to stay off the counter I can count on her being
there at a noise from the kitchen. Dream of my first lover in which
his house’ s indoor waterfall had turned to rot. I never understood
the obsession with saying such–and–such a song “kills” me. It’s like
everything I say is a threat when there’s a chance to be made.
Following someone else’s eye to what first made them notice.
And then I typed: The door’s all hinges. The cat’s contorted face
the first time I locked her out of my room all night so I could sleep.
The OxiClean I spray in my underwear after my boyfriend asked do I
ever not wear any. The first time I made him come with my mouth.
Dad has started saying things like: “Grandkids—if I ever get any.”
“I’ll just know. If it hurts, you’ll jump,” the hygienist explained.
Jean Valentine: “—Night, and everyone’s straight out // longing.”
Gregory Pardlo: “The moment of change is the only poem.”
It’s hard to get across the street sometimes. Pa’s in blackface, but the idea is not to take sides. Let me see our limits—I guess we don’t need all the codes to be cracked in the end. When you wanted to learn “old–timey English” I set you Shakespeare. Thou lewd, lily–livered clodpole. You beslubbering, clapper–clawed fustilarian. How do you spell the ends of the earth. We feed on him in our hearts by—my science is pretty good despite that physics class. The only one who gets to call them out. Holding me down in the dream he said just try to move. The ease of speed justified my reckless galloping. I read books but can say little enough about them. Area alert—possible man with gun.