a single cloud sits with a low hum like an eraser
the law of society isn’t actually jungle law , we all observe
from the person shoved down the union square stairs one morning
and the people close enough to help and do
it’s grayer , but more fungible
a patch of blue
reciprocity , ascendance…
just had this class-negative nostalgia for university
evil , spiritually stunted , but met some interesting people
I was my wish , it was my time , who could ever take it so far ,
living , me , no
then she said: I think we have fewer options than we thought ...
we had just left karaoke
there was an extraordinary lack of tension
then I wrote :
the earth shines in the night sky , otherwise it’s gray , reluctant
silent , unreal , unexaggerated , dreaming now , just waiting
then “ I open the window to fire , running in the street...
considering how aggressive living is
we don’t live in the same world at all:
demoned up ?? all the time
it’s a game of dermal flickering
it’s the age of the plantation and rare earth mineral
for ex, I see my silhouette in the condo window
think I’m no cardiovascular system surviving my way along
I’m not vast as summer sun , grinded , upright
not ill , diverted , extra
I’m a low hum
I’m in love
I’m a bit of psychic pressure
I’m cheese , dope , and juice
then the night swings shut like the idea of glamour
mmm
in the end , I feel sad but not just
about this heart–lung machine
that a poetic education produces
to manage nostalgia :
for ex: “cincinnati,” I thought after a bout of rhythmic lapse
with its steamboat energy , klan crosses
nothing doing
no home for my love of sheer ambience
red and shimmering
from the hill , you can see the land stretch
bathed in the gaze of the overseer
there’s harsh music happening again again again
metal music drone music
glass music medical bill music
I was born , I left , I learned
I became a very funny person
I got punched in the heart
now I’m starting back up
all heard and left hanging by the person who is not yet physically strong ,
I have visions of frothing , overcoming , useful cathexis
in the cold cold summer with the trees suiciding
as they described car accidents in great graphic detail
fear language fear ethic
this continual droning , heart snatching
trust not possible only compelled then abused
pros and cons of slavery, little time bombs
we were struck in the head then, multiply and often
with my head leaned against glass and rippling escaping
it ran a gossiping loop around the outside of the building
in my dream , half dead people would walk slowly through the unlocked
back door of the house , the light would darken , dream end
weeped enough , cried enough , died enough
it took a sick second to make sense of what happened
but now I understand :
beep goes the bulldozer reversing
one hundred dollars goes the electrocardiogram
we didn’t love the industry of speech so we wanted lines loose and crystal
to change them
we wanted the throat to clear , cap condense
I was awake , repeating “deathstyle” until it wasn’t funny again
but still , awake
I didn’t want to make things up