Heir Apparent

1

the man at Immigration speaks about my hair while i am giving my fingerprints to his country You have changed. You are wearing your hair long. Why are you wearing your hair long?

2

i look old when i wake up, i put toothpaste on my pimples, i place what i cannot handle in the fridge, sometimes i don’t know what i feel, or how to feel safe, or how to dress (this is rare),

i don’t like it when cleaning is going on in a restaurant while i am in it

i am not interested in fiction, and i don’t like to be watched,

i am a woman,

i wanted to be a pirate, i still want to be a pirate, i still feel most safe at the movies, i feel the content of the world is overdosing, detains a melancholy, this affects me, i feel dosed myself, it is unclear to me, how much world i contain, words i detain, i am not even sure—

i find it difficult to interact with sexed-up service-personnel

sometimes i make anger, at other times i sing

India has changed me, India is changing

when in love, i stop creating

3

art is a lie-detector

touch is a lie-detector

writing is a lie-detector

watching is a shit-detector

watching is a god-detector

watching is a source, is a source, is a source

4

take care of pissed-off, it can be brilliant

5

he nailed a sandwich to a tree once, maybe even more than once,

i was eating strawberries, and wearing a vanilla colored dress his eyes were green, his hands were under the table, or maybe he sat on his hands,

he said Pizza delivery man when asked which of his low-wage jobs he liked best,

my dress could have easily passed as a wedding dress, i always wear dresses over trousers, beauty makes me nervous & living & power makes me fear

what i would like to know from him is if dogs, or women were present when he nailed the sandwich to the tree, or ants, if so, which color, i had an ant-
problem once, in India, the ants were red and wanted to sleep in my bed
 

Sam Taylor-Wood made a video-portrait of David Beckham sleeping, shot in a single long take it lasts for 1hour7minutes, dogs, children, and women are absent from the portrait, his body hardly moves, i felt nervous watching his body and trusted, what i mean is that i felt that his body was okay with me watching it, and that Sam Taylor-Wood was giving me something back, both of these things are very important to me. i do not know what these things mean, sometimes i make a fear, i just don’t know what these things mean

i was eating strawberries when he said Pizza delivery man, i was wearing a vanilla colored dress that could have easily passed as a wedding dress, beauty makes me nervous & living & power. Pizza delivery man, he said, that’s when i knew he liked watching

he wrote i swallowed the river to watch the fish flail

he wrote then i went away, then i went away

i would be interested to know what the sandwich contained, and if he was sure it wasn’t a burger he nailed to that tree, whether he took pictures to document what happened to both the tree, and the sandwich, and to his face over the week that followed the fructification, what about the location: are we talking boredom, bedroom, national park, or Disney Land?

6

7

the women who hurt me most cut my hair, paid incompetence to cut my hair, until i was 24 i had perms & acne, it was a way to control magic, therefore believing, believing is magic-control i didn’t even know Trust is a valid word

valid words:

porous

brutalist

fog make up mother

gallimaufry

operative words:

kind metal

hot

magnetize milk

masculinity

low-fat   jazz

8

when i opened the word WOMAN, for a long time nothing, then blood, keys, bones, tiny keys surfing like ants in a pool, then samesame, for a long time, blood, keys, bones, tiny keys, pool, ants, red ants, i said Mother?

9

and stops. and stops. it’s how i fluid. the only way. so far. i know so far. to fluid.

Guenther Grass, in a conversation with Norman Mailer at the Public Library There is no more inspiration coming from America.

on my Starbucks paper coffee cup (The way I see it # 214) What would you do for someone you love?

10

correction: Christine Herzer’s Reisepass contains false information pertaining to the color of her eyes, Ms Herzer’s eyes are not the color of her father’s cars, eyebrows, or eyes, her father’s eyes are the color of his cars, eyebrows, and not the color of his daughter’s eyes

11

correction: Christine Herzer’s poem I WANTED TO BE A HOUSE misunderstands the name of the cook, the cooks name is Mrs Kate Bridges, and not Mrs Marjorie Bellamy, Mrs Bellamy is the elegant wife who died in the sinking of the RMS Titanic. it is not unknown if Lord Bellamy owned a race-horse, and/or had a mistress

12

they met on a field of wet grass, in the United States of America, he walked towards her, the promise between them contained hallucinations and flare-words dirt, crowded, lonely little wounds he smelled of poetry, his eyes contained time, not cars, it was like listening to The Pet Shop Boys, it was like eating caramel popcorn at Inox, like being naked and missing winter, like watching rose eat, it was like sex with a ghost

he wrote The uninsured everything between us

he wrote I swallowed the river to watch the fish flail

13

someone referred to a suicide-poet’s-poems as having pissed-off clarity, i fucked pissed-off clarity once, i loved a rose. when you’re pissed off, you’re protected, when you’re pissed off, you’re shame-protected:

I don’t want your shame, your love is shame. I don’t want love.

14

15

source amnesia: during crowded periods, security will limit the number of facts allowed in shoulders

17

this is important

this is ridiculous

this is a test:

living is not safe

 living is not a save-house

art is not safe

 art is not a save-house,
 

to save is unsafe

to unsafe
 

to thicken by evaporation to strengthen

by breaking up

 

18

the fear of giving, always this fear of giving,

the horror of receiving

like a safe

 

20

one time, Christine Herzer had a very long-lasting boyfriend in public, together they perfumed the process of trust, j’ensemence roses au lieu de douleur,

21

one time, the boyfriend opened the inside of his left hand with a metal coat-hanger, when he could have used a word Florals a gender Simultaneous a house Language raw materials Tuberose  Moss  Oak  Patchouli

 

22

YELLOW: when people trust each other, they send out flare words into each other’s scars, the need for ownership is ultimately the need to belong. to live in a bed, with doors. front doors, back doors. mittens. jasmin. eyeliner

ORANGE: the poet who nailed a sandwich to a tree at least once, has green eyes, i wanted to make time inside of him, i sensed him for directions, we were standing on a field of wet grass, the promise between us contained hallucinations & flare words dirt, crowded, lonely little wounds i wore a black sun dress, i had terrestrial insects in me, and orchids, sometimes i waste toilet-paper, and warmth, often my moon overlaps

23

a rose is never worn by chance

rose, a top note?

rose takes warmth from very short lasting sentences,

rose, a community chest space?

to belong to the people

to be cooked until there is just a little pink meat inside

24

he said Pizza delivery man when one of the strawberries i had been eating fell out of my mouth and into my lap, onto my wedding dress, this left a rose, i asked him if he had dental floss, his green eyes looked at me, he didn’t touch/save the pool-situation, which was sweet and also sad, and i accepted myself

25

i have been using CHANEL N˚5 (Eau de Parfum) for as long as i can memory, in my hair, inside of my left elbow, against the v-shaped dip where the clavicle joins the sternum Rosebone

in summer i add CRISTALLE, i have started to use parfum in India, this is new, this is ridiculous, i am the same everywhere now, this is globalization, the dip is called suprasternal notch, India is changing on the outside—enjoy special privileges, multiple choice destinations—pizza parlors, i-please-you-for-a-visa-men, i-watch-you-all-the-time-adult children & crotch grabbers are still private in public spaces, sometimes this pisses her-off, pissed-off is a top note, composed of short lived components that last under two hours, WHAT IS THE SAVING masturbation

WOMAN is a patient word, and Boat and Toiletpaper. Ralph Fiennes claimed Kristin Scott Thomas’s suprasternal notch as his exclusive property, he called it his ‘Bosphoros’. this happened in a novel, and in a movie too. the need for ownership is a kinderGARDEN

26

correction: we incorrectly ran a poem of unrelated dots used by the beauty department to track poet populations. we regret the mascara

27

28

were the nails rusty, and did someone make amends to the tree at all?

and/or to the sandwich?

and/or to daughters of fluidity mothers married to men with multiple breasts?

29

if someone(you trust) gives a fact to you, a waiter, a werner, a flight-attendant, a swim-teacher if someone you trust, a medicated non-fiction-writer, a women behind a window, a rickshaw-driver, a surferboy, a cowboy, a poet, a mother, (a tourist) gives a fact to you

fact

do you understand what’s happening?
 

(don’t save it)

in time, the fact is gradually transferred to the cerebral cortex

the fact is seperated from the context
 

in the context of out of context

(meaning is continually moving)

(her gravity)

could not  mentally

  arrive,

30

correction: the vows column last Sunday, about the marriage of the roses, misidentified which member of the couple hated the other while they were eating. it was Mr Rose, not Ms Rose. language downgraded their safety from water to milk which provides only one gunner. the roses also share a manager

31

correction: the number of unnamed faces in Christine Herzer’s library is 723, not 45. the word Herzer lived without in 2005 is Why, not House. neglected words appear in faces.

32

FACE = evidence that a self-inflicted and deliberate act led to the person’s living

FACE-benefit proceeds will be unlimited if the insured commits reality

(to face = to fact + to aware)

(to fact = to face – to aware)

33

the following facts were delayed for research:

34

to lie = to piss-off  to lie a little…

to lie = to save reality to lie a little, to save someone from reality

to watch, to face-fuck

to be watched, to be face-fucked

37

i am not monogamous when it comes to countries, language, bottled water.

i have been monogamous with regards to perfume. this changed on December 28, 2007

38

save as draft:

exposure is protection

the body waits for love to give it feeling

put in context:

fog is used to delay flight[s]

if I know I stop

correct:

travelling based on forgetting

the woman is itself not a content

39

the poet who has nailed a sandwich to a tree at least once has depressed shoulders, tom cruise has depressed shoulders, too, the term is droopy, i find this unsexy, women who drink beer are unsexy, they have ambition, i think

 

if i find my own face if i find my own face how much will i find?

if i naked my own face if i naked my own face how much will i write?