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Recall 1975 our neighbor his name was Mr. Wily the one who shouted ‘dirty Mexicans’ at my brother & me as we ran by in our toughskins to the corral down by the creek Wily would dump rotting trash at the far corner of his land right on the border with ours then dial the Health Department our Mexican mother opening the door to her house clean clean her face a closed cupboard a smooth tablecloth that is its own answer This happened many times in our neighborhood someone could be called could come inspect see if our house perhaps let’s just have a look did harbor did retain trash 1941 when she was a child, my mother had dirt-floors I betray her by writing dirt She was poor but stop I cannot let you in the poor house where I never lived Shame rubs off do you know where your dirt & trash are where you’ve taken it out? don’t look here 1980 I live in the cleanest house my mother is a school principal I am her daughter I sit in the classes with the smart white I’m the smartest one I am paying attention Every house I enter I inspect & I enter all the houses I can 1987 then, the far college the ivy & the gardens I have brought the special silver wing-tip brogues I love silver! See but in this immaculate garden the shine has gone hiding the dream is of decay, let distress be on show unshine, baby my boy from new york will trash his clothes shredding ripping denim with the bowed head & tender fingers of a new lover but take care, here my trash talk is love talk not wily shouts of ‘dirty americans’ at the fine neighbors I found myself living next to their tough skins & hopeful genes you know already: I placed my silver shoes in the bathroom trash can there I am still See shine & shame you can’t take the trash out so easy
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Call me inspector open your door Forty-four years the count of this body? & still tough skin trash call inspect neighbor shame & shine? I come to inspect this house of ours the trashing of the whole place the civilization of the discontented altar & alter elevated trash distress upcycle shabby & repurpose? I’ve come to trash the place silver Glitter it with snapshots of each & every dreamed thing every clutch & cover you & I took a shine to The coats & cups computers & tables CD collection (did you trash it yet?) we bought inherited received See these are the endangered species Lives hover at the edge of our disdain shame of yesterday’s shine My body too its toughskin its wet & yearning is between love and discard my shining breasts & torn feet fissures & hungry muscle I am not yet trash Tomorrow’s trash is what you wipe clean use Not trash yet, it offers no rescue reform redeem Only care wipe hold wash beat softly probe like your same leg my this face fresh not new See this endangered love? To the altars of your house I haul the trashed images of what you called yours—was it yesterday? Open you called I have come in now do not refuse me