I imagine myself
through desire
to numb myself
the victim participating
to save you placed in a gurney
in an outburst of violence
destroying old feelings
I’m brutal, at first, unsanitary
aroused, then friendly
coached by a system
released into a crowd
small system
to sanitize me in history
to awake in what I’ve been feeling
the official culture, ahistoric
awful insistent—
locked turnstile
the absolute value: wealth
whitened year in you
in any direction
dissonant
a deadlock of not-cure
to face anger, with anger
with what claims everything
“young” “tonight” on top
crumbling from the top
to build the bottom
in unmade shapes
I drink from the invisible
order that sustains me
the flammable skin I’m in
you must
be forced to be free
whomever you are
you must live
by loss of desire
burst in query
in a deeper void
the engine choke
in the same elusive surplus
circling us
and blind beyond
the chore of enchantment
the cloud light
the contours of maladies
pure surface supplying
the excessive object in me, us
less than money
thirsting—claimed