They Will Sew the Blue Sail

Cardinal study | Caitlin Roach

I

The embryo un-gels, falls runny through splits of this open palm.

In the corner of the living room I catch the wrinkled fern frond

unfurling midrib, the just-open stipe service to me only

in this muted light. Overnight, the cactus pushed out from its stem

a new bud, a sternum cracked open to make room for this other heart.

Outside, at the base of the honey locust, a cardinal turns focused:

a pair of robins feud over a slick body the rain’s just let from its burrow.

They’ve each an end and no more than two quick tugs before it’s torn

and all its rings go falling from the central shaft, clinking

against each other as they slide down and land in a ruddy pile, easy

as loosing a thread from its eye, I imagine. I am witness to the bed of red

shortleaf needles upon which it dies. When I look back for the cardinal

it is gone. Even I know the disquiet of stillness here in this mourning

as I stand in this room, legs calm and apart, and watch a stream

of blood run steady down each my thighs.

II

I’ll tell you everything I know about blue jays, what makes them blue,

how their plumes don’t stow it but that sacs of air in their barbs scatter

incoming light, casting a blue light from the bird, making a non-blue

thing appear it. Roses scraping the northern window mimic

the lonely bird who slings its bawl through its sad radius to

whatever will listen. I heard one can hear the flow of water

through a tree so now I press my head to anything to hear

hearts drumming. Listen: you can hear an echo coming. Ready

the pruned breast’s drops pooling at its tip–lower it to this

open mouth. I sense you dreaming inside me. God of anything, send me

something to keep alive. I’ll tell you then what I’ve known but what

do you know of throats anyway, what have you to say of red, of blue,

of the small clefts of light that drip through the feet of curtains,

of the way the same red bird returns each dusk to the most-east branch

of the blue beech out back, singing or crying I can never be sure.